


frigid rain

by mafuyue



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Injury, ep 7 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29611893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mafuyue/pseuds/mafuyue
Summary: He’s used to the cold.But this is different.This is a different type of cold, something Langa isn’t used to. It’s empty, confusing, numbing.He would do anything just feel the warmth that Reki radiates into his life.The aftermath of Reki and Langa's b̶r̶e̶a̶k̶u̶p̶ ̶ fight from Langa's perspective.
Relationships: Hasegawa Langa & Kyan Reki, Hasegawa Langa/Kyan Reki
Comments: 19
Kudos: 221





	frigid rain

**Author's Note:**

> CW: Self-deprecating thoughts and indulgence. I kind of also self-project on him a bit, so it may be slightly out of character if you don't interpret Langa's character the same way I do.
> 
> I just want to clarify that in no shape or form am I blaming Langa for how Reki's feeling. It was no one's fault except asswipe Adam. This is just how I interpret how Langa would feel after their fight. Please understand I'm not attacking my favorite snowboarder in any way :( 
> 
> Please be aware that I wrote this at 2 am so expect mistakes.

Langa felt the cold rain continue to pour outside Reki’s house, every drop of rain feeling heavier upon his skin. He doesn’t know how long he’s been standing there, he is still trying to process their fight that just happened mere minutes ago.    
  
_ Or was it hours? Who knows _ .

Langa feels the cool water from the rain starting to puddle into his converse. He’s probably going to catch a cold from standing in the rain for such a long time. 

But he doesn’t care.

He’s used to the cold.

_ But this is different.  _

This is a different type of cold, something Langa isn’t used to. It’s empty, confusing, numbing. 

It’s the type of cold you feel when someone you deeply care for is slipping out of your life. And all is left is a gaping, irreplaceable husk of what they used to be. The absence of their presence leaves a biting cold chill that you will never grow used to. Nothing could ever take their place once they're gone. 

Reki’s an irreplaceable puzzle piece that was missing from Langa’s entire life. His life felt complete when he was around him. 

He had it all figured out for once, but it backfired on him and Langa wasn’t even aware of the unraveling of their friendship. Now he has to face the consequences of a problem he didn’t see coming until it finally hit him. 

He doesn’t know what’s building up inside of him. Is it anger? Sadness? He’s not sure but he just wants it to stop. 

Never in his life has he missed the Okinawan warmth he’s grown to love in the past few months. 

Langa never heard Reki sound or act like this before. He was someone who always wore a bright smile on their face, facing every challenge with perseverance and coming out stronger than before. He is Langa’s inspiration. Langa could listen to Reki talk about skateboarding for hours on end. 

He believed Reki had thick skin and unwavering determination for the sport. He believed that he always had fun skateboarding and that nothing could extinguish his burning passion for it. But he was wrong.  _ So wrong.  _

Langa was having the time of his life and wasn’t even aware of his friend hurting so much. And he was suffering  _ alone.  _ Hiding his true feelings for who knows how long. 

Langa was no stranger to that feeling of loneliness, keeping everything bottled in until it comes bursting out. 

He never thought it would be possible for such an optimistic person like Reki to sound so defeated. So hurt. So  _ lost.  _

He would give everything just to rewind time and give his friend a hug. To say the right things to him, to comfort him, to tell him he’s sorry. And to tell him he’s not alone.

Reki’s voice starts echoing in his head. Langa feels guilt starting to build up in his chest, his heart starts to grow heavy. Langa clutches his shirt with his hand and starts to skate down the road. He felt the steady downpour of rain start to dissipate.

His legs started to have a mind of their own, Langa wasn’t even aware of where his body was taking him. He just needed to move, to get away. 

He felt the familiar, exhilarating wind blow over him. It felt like a blanket of comfort, a feeling he’ll never grow old of. He needed to feel something, the cold wind brushing upon his face as he sped down the hill.

_ He needed to go faster.  _

He kicked forward more with his foot, trying to gain more speed despite going at a dangerous rate already. He didn’t care, Langa’s craving for speed grew more intense. 

_ Faster, faster. _

He wasn’t thinking anymore, he was on autopilot. The road started to flash and morph into his mindscape. He realized this feeling only occurs when he’s either racing or when he was in his element. The only things filling his senses were the solid skateboard beneath his feet, and the endless powerful gusts of wind blowing onto his face. 

Langa closes his eyes, he feels like he can finally breathe.

Until the thoughts he was trying to run away from finally caught up with him. 

_ Maybe we’re not a good match anymore. _

Reki’s voice reverberated in his mind. The thoughts caught Langa off guard, the road turning back to normal in an instant. 

For a second, Langa wasn’t aware of how fast he was going and was about to hit a parked car around the road’s bend. 

Langa, having steadfast instincts, skids his skateboard backwards with one hand clutching the bottom side and the other scraping the road in hopes of stopping his momentum. With his back facing the car, Langa was 75% successful in stopping his skateboard and his back ends up slamming into the side of the vehicle, knocking the air out of his lungs from the sudden impact. He stumbles forward, unable to keep his body balanced on the skateboard and falls faceforward straight into a puddle. 

“Ow, ow, ow.” Langa mutters to himself in pain when he picks himself from the ground. He sets his skateboard back on the ground and sits on it. 

The gravity of his argument with Reki was starting to catch up to him. He may be fast physically, but he felt like he was slow at everything else. 

_ Maybe we’re not a good match anymore. _

The haunting sentence entered his mind like an unwelcome guest for the second time, louder than before. Langa feels his hands starting to shake. Unwanted thoughts started to flood his mind.

_ You’re a horrible friend. _

_ Reki’s better off without you. _

_ You’re the reason why he feels like this. _

Langa clutches his shirt again in an attempt to steady his quivering hands. 

_ Was it my fault? Did I hurt him unintentionally? I’m so stupid I wasn’t even aware that my friend was suffering. _

_ This is why you didn’t have any friends. When you finally thought you found one, you discovered a way to screw things up. It’s all your fault, you don’t deserve Reki. _

Langa decided his thoughts were right, he didn’t deserve Reki. He never did.

The foreign cold sensation returned and this time stronger than ever. He tried to wrap his arms around himself to gather warmth but it did nothing but smear water all over his already drenched skin. He felt frozen in place. His body couldn’t move. 

He would do anything just to see Reki and apologize to him. 

To apologize for how he was such a horrible friend to him.

To apologize for how he was unaware of his suffering.

To apologize for how oblivious and self-absorbed he was in his little world.

To apologize for sucking all the joy out of skateboarding, his one and only pride and passion.

The immense guilt collided into his mind like a tidal wave, drowning in his own sea of self-deprecation. 

Langa hasn’t felt like this in a while. The last time was in Canada, packing up to leave his hometown to live in some foreign country he only traveled to once when he was a baby. He felt guilty for leaving, like he was going to live an entire life without his dad. He felt guilty for living on without him, like he was leaving him behind. Langa grew a disdain for the sight of snow, always being stabbed with the same gut wrenching, heart piercing guilt slowly eating away his sanity.

Langa thought he had escaped this feeling before. 

Now it was back and stronger than ever.

Langa feels his phone vibrating in his jean’s pocket and frantically takes it out in hopes to see Reki’s name on the screen. 

It was his mom asking where he was. Langa sighs,  _ it’s almost midnight. Her shift ended an hour ago.  _

Langa mustered up any courage he had left in his aching body, and stood up. He picked up his skateboard and decided to walk the rest of the way home. For the first time ever, he felt sick at the sight of it.

With his head hung low, Langa sulks back home letting the reflections of the streetlights in the puddles guide his way home. Langa wraps his arms around himself, shivering. 

He never thought it was possible to feel this cold in Okinawa. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and please leave kudos, comments, criticism, anything (but pls be gentle, I'm fragile)


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